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Clinical Hypnotherapist, Counsellor,
Life Coach and Meditation

Opening up to Emotions.

Why Do People Bottle Up Their Emotions?

– They are unable to fight back in an argument situation (e.g., the “opponent” is more dominant)
– They think that if they show their emotions it is a sign of weakness.
– They believe it is not normal to be feeling a certain way, so try to conceal their emotions from others.
– They are afraid of what other people might think.
– They feel that they have to deal with their emotions or problems on their own because “no one else will understand.”
– A situation may have occurred that has placed someone in shock and they just don’t know how to deal with it or they just block it out because don’t fully understand it makes them feel (or don’t feel) a certain way.
– They feel they have to be “the rock” for others.
– They don’t want to be hurt so they swallow their emotions back down.

What Happens When You Bottle Up Your Emotions

– You can get to a stage where you have bottled up your emotions to the point you “explode.” Often the victims are loved ones, friends, and co-workers.
– You turn to escapism (alcohol, cigarettes, drugs) for short term solutions, to avoid confronting your emotions.
– You become depressed and numb, and you don’t know how to get out of the situation.
– Often the pent-up emotions will manifest themselves physically in the form of diseases and can make you very ill.
– Some people commit suicide because they see no other way out.

Ways To Release Those Bottled-Up Emotions

Write. Putting your feelings down on paper not only enables you to begin unloading your emotional baggage, it also allows you to process the situation so that perhaps you may a) gain objectivity, b) understand the other person’s point of view, and more importantly c) be free to move on with the more important and pleasant things in life. Plus, if you do this regularly in the form of a journal or diary it makes a fascinating read many years later.

Music. If you play an instrument, write a song about what is bothering you. Not only is it a release, it is a way to take that negative energy and be creative with it positively. The song may be dark in subject or it may have some explicit lyrics but you will have fun putting it together and feel empowered every time you perform it or listen to the recording. Sometimes it may be a song that no one else will hear, but that’s fine. It would have served its purpose. If you’re not musically inclined, listen to someone else’s song about a similar subject. Music has the power to move you deeply and by the same token has the power to heal.

Confide in someone. If you feel you can’t talk to the people in your immediate circle, look outside it. If you know someone you haven’t been in touch with for years, give them a call and see if you can catch up. They do not know the details of your life as they have been out of contact so may be able to provide an objective point of view or “outside advice”. Sometimes its good to speak to a counsellor to assist you to find solutions to move past the blockage. Hypnotherapy works really well with this process.

Meditate. Quieten the mind, breathe and listen to the subconscious. In may times this process helps open ups and connect you to your emotions.

Connect with pets or nature. If you’re uncomfortable talking to people, try nature. Animals are not dumb. In fact, they often sense the emotions of their owners or other humans. You’ve heard stories of dogs howling when their owners have passed away in the other room, or stories about plants growing more quickly to a bigger size when exposed to music.

Everybody bottles up their emotions at some point. The trick is to realise that doing so is not healthy. When you learn to let go of the hurt or anger or frustration within and are no longer carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, you will feel much happier with life. Your smile will generate opportunities and with the bad experiences behind you, you can also begin to help other people.

Contact Joe Busuttil at Equator Hypnotherapy and Counselling, Melbourne to make an appointment.

Mindfulness everyday breathing.

I have started noticing more and more people suffering with stress related conditions at Equator Hypnotherapy and Counselling, Melbourne. With more and more people taking an initiative to focus on their mental health, meditation has become increasingly popular. Meditation is one of many practices that not only improves mental health, but also supports overall wellness. You do not need to be an expert to meditate, you simply need a quiet space and a couple of minutes to yourself. Once you start incorporating meditation into your lifestyle, you will begin to notice all of the wonderful benefits that it can have on your mind, body, and spirit:

Physical Changes to Your Brain –
A study conducted in 2011 at Harvard found that meditating for just 8 weeks increases your brain size in three beneficial areas. 1. The left hippocampus which is responsible for your ability to learn and retain information. 2. The posterior cingulate cortex which is responsible for controlling how your mind wanders. 3. The temporoparietal junction, which is responsible for empathy and compassion. Additionally, this same study also found that there were decreases in cell volume in the amygdala, the area of the brain that is responsible for fear, stress and anxiety.

Reduction of Negative Emotions –
Studies have shown that practicing meditation helps you to better manage stress, and also significantly decrease the negative side effects of stress. A recent study found that mindfulness meditation helped people just as much as commonly prescribed anti-depressant drugs. Furthermore, meditation has proven to be helpful in stopping or slowing obsessive thinking, anxiety, depression, and hostility.

Increase in Concentration and Focus –
Meditation “not only changes brain patterns, but it also confers advantages in mental focus that may improve cognitive performance.”

Overall Health Benefits –
Meditation had effects on the body at a genetic level. Meditation could protect the length of your telomeres, which could possibly slow down the aging process.

Increase in Positive Emotions –
Practicing meditation produces positive emotions that increase over time as you practice on a daily basis.

So, how can someone who has never meditated before begin meditating? Here are some simple steps to help get you started:

Where should I meditate? You can technically meditate anywhere you would like — in a chair, bed, on the floor, etc. However, the most optimal and beneficial way to meditate is by sitting on the floor (you can sit on a yoga mat, rug, or pillows) because it keeps you wide awake and allows you to sit for long periods of time.

What do I do with my body? As a beginner meditator, you can criss cross your legs like pretzels if you are sitting on the ground. Your arms can rest on your thighs, and your hands can rest on top of each other and form a cup shape, and your thumbs can touch (it is completely up to you!) What is most important is that your arms feel relaxed. Your back should be straight and your head should be completely level, facing forward. You may meditate with your eyes open or closed. However, for beginners, eyes closed is recommended as it is easier to focus.

How long should I meditate for? Before you begin meditating, it is advised that you set an alarm nearby. This prevents your mind from wondering about how much time is left for the session. For beginner meditations, starting with just 5 minutes is best. You may increase your time spent meditating the more you get use to it. Most peopler recommend meditating anywhere between 10-20 minutes.

What do I do during a Mindfulness Breathing Meditation? It is important to make sure that you are breathing through your nose. The focus should be directed towards your breath. Observe the way the air feels as it is moving through your nostril. Notice the transition from inhale to exhale. Do not judge your observations, simply observe them in the present moment. You will notice that as you are doing this, thoughts will begin to enter your mind, which will be distracting. When you notice your mind wandering, simple redirect your focus back to your breath. This is how you train your mindfulness muscle! It is totally normal to have thoughts come up as you are meditating, especially for beginners. Try not to criticize yourself when it does.

It is important to be aware that the more habitual you make mindfulness meditation, the more benefits you will obtain from it. You will also notice that the more you practice, the more you will have your entire focus on your breath for longer amounts of time. In order to start truly seeing the wonderful benefits of meditation, you should try to meditate on a daily basis. As previously mentioned, it only takes a small amount of time out of your day!

At Equator Hypnotherapy and Counselling we assist clients to learn mindfulness and reach a place of comfort in their lives.